The Wheelspin Journal: Boring, no more

By Jonathan Mellberg

Volvos are boring. They just are. If the automotive world were colored, Volvo’s color would be beige. A very boring beige. Not that boring is all that bad. Between hittin' the club all night or staying at home and binge-watching movies on Netflix, I’d pick the comfortingly boring staying at home, 95% of the time. But it's nice to have that other 5% as an option, now and again.

(I don't know the age of this Volvo, I only know that it's old)

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Volvo_240_D.JPG

Boring though they are, I’ve been a continued fan of Volvo’s shall-we-say restrained design aesthetics since the late 90’s. Volvo style has further advanced since the late 2000’s and the brand was even smart enough to capitalize on the wildly popular “Twilight” film franchise by inserting cameo appearances of various Volvo’s throughout the five-film franchise. Or maybe that was a huge mistake, because now I can’t picture a Volvo C30 without also thinking about the dreamy vampire known as Edward. Damnit.

(Volvo S60 from the unfortunate film Twilight: Breaking Dawn)

http://www.carlocate.com/Blog/post/2011/10/19/Volvo-Promotions-Offer-Twilight-Sized-Prizes.aspx

Volvo has peppered its past with a few limited, sporty variants of its otherwise exciting-as-oatmeal staples, such as the S60 and V70. With the “R” suffix, Volvo gave us the S60R and V70R (my favorite), which were snappy looking, all-wheel drivin’, turbo-spooled grocery getters that surely surprised their fair share of BMW owners at the occasional traffic light. And if that small window of excitement is anything to savor and hope for again from the Swedish brand known for safety, then we are all in for a very special treat.

Volvo V70R

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Washauto_volvo_v70r.jpg

Enter Polestar. Don’t ask me how to pronounce it; I only know what it means for Volvo. It means lots of speed, power, and a continuance in using all-wheel drive to propel its otherwise unassuming Volvos right past your Subaru WRX, Mitsubishi EVO, etc. Don’t like Volvos? Quit hatin’; speed is speed, power is power. I'm still ingesting the arrival of electric cars, but that doesn't mean the four-door Tesla Model S can't rocket to 60mph in under four seconds. It’s amazing that so many gearheads are so very prejudiced toward so many cars, me included. But that’s changing. I’m changing. And though it didn’t start with the Polestar Volvos, they’re sure helping.

Polestar Volvos

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Volvo_Polestar_Racing_Heritage.jpg

Fresh to the market in extremely limited production, the Polestar S60 and Polestar V60 are nothing like your “I'm safe, boring, and beige” current Volvo (though to be clear, they are still extremely safe) but rather like Swedish meatballs possessed (emphasis on balls): fresh, exciting Rebel Blue paint lets the cars shout “Hey! I’m faster than you and still three times as safe!” (they are also available in Black Sapphire metallic). And faster they are. Try these stats out for kicks: 345 horsepower, 0-60 in 4.7 seconds, and an electronically limited top speed of 155mph. Aside from dealing with people’s knee-jerk reaction when you tell them your hotrod is a Volvo, there is one other downside; only 120 examples of these twin Swedes will land on American soil. So you’d be safe to assume that the next time a Volvo shames your Jaguar, it’ll be a Polestar S60 or V60.