A look back

by Jonathan Mellberg

It’s been quite a year. I’ve referenced the myriad changes and upswings in my personal life, so we’ll just gloss over that area this time. It’s been a big year for the world of automobiles as well; almost too big a year.

For the first time ever we saw the emergence of an aluminum-bodied pickup truck. And not just any truck –the best-selling Ford F-150. With it we saw the addition of a new all-star powertrain, the mighty little 2.7L EcoBoost V6. From what I’ve read, it’s quite impressive. Chevy offered a refresh on its Silverado just a couple years into its current cycle while also hopping back into the fray of midsize pickups with the all new Colorado (and cousin GMC Canyon). Dodge spiced things up by offering -for the first time- a diesel in its non-HD Ram pickup. Normally I’d scoff at having to cover the obligatory yet bland segment on pickup trucks, but this was quite the year for them!

the new aluminum-bodied Ford F-150

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:2015_Ford_F-150_Pickup_Truck.jpg

Mazda swung for the fences and connected with the all-new 6, a midsize sedan that rivals anything in its segment as the most handsome; heck, it’s gorgeous, and not just for a four-door family hauler. Mazda may have gambled by refusing a V6 option for the 6, but the bet appears to be paying off. Meanwhile, back on American soil, Chevy finally gave its tired old Impala a much needed shot in the arm with a fresh design and some much needed panache, though still not as good as the Mazda 6. But that wasn’t Chevy’s only four-door wonder. Have you seen the all-new SS Sedan? My my my… what an understated animal the new SS is. Sure, it’s a boring name and the car itself -though Chevy’s best-looking sedan- is deceptively unassuming; but have you driven it? I had the pleasure of taking a back seat ride in one brand new SS over the summer, with my half-demented friend Dustin behind the wheel. Triple digit speeds within a few blocks and one thing was abundantly clear, this thing moves. And with a price tag just ticks under $46K, it’s a bargain (did I mentioned its rear-wheel driven with the Vette’s 6.2L V8 providing the muscle?).

the new Chevy Impala

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:2014_Chevy_Impala_Europe.jpg

the new Chevy SS Sedan

(photo by the author)

Not much happening in the world of the minivan. Toyota, Honda and Nissan’s offerings are all long in the tooth (the all-new Odyssey has been spotted in camouflage during its testing phase), so Kia was able to hog the stage all to itself. The all-new Sedona is not just the best looking minivan ever (yes, ever) but it may be Kia’s best looking model period! I can’t wait to drive one. Maybe someday Kia can fully shed its cheap Korean stigma enough so I’ll buy one. As it stands they’re making great strides toward that goal.

Tesla’s been gaining much EV competition, but that doesn’t stop them from upping their own game with the Model S’s newest trim level, the P85D. The “D” stands for dual motors, and brother you feel it. It’s recently claimed the trophy for fastest 0-60mph sedan ever (3.2 seconds from 0-60mph), And YouTube videos showing the P85D destroying all manner of sports cars from the stop light are sprouting up like weeds. Good for you, Tesla; as if petro-heads weren’t sensitive enough already.

Tesla Model S P85+ (not the new "D" model)

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:2013_Tesla_Model_S_P85%2B,_rear_right.jpg

So there’s my 2014 report; at least, where mortals are concerned (I suppose the Tesla Model S P85D transcends such a list). The list of gods and demigods is much more exciting and much lengthier too.

The all-new Ford Mustang was released and to great acclaim (for the most part). It offers three different engines for the first time in I-don’t-know-how-long; and get this, the four-banger isn’t the least powerful engine. Head blown? Well, just wait. Chevy really dialed things up when it offered to the public a $75K (that’s seventy-five thousand American dollars) Camaro in resurrected Z/28 trim. At home only on a track, the new Z/28 is a drool-worthy machine that’ll have the boys at Shelby rethinking a thing or two about the next GT350, I’m sure.

the new Ford Mustang

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:2015_Ford_Mustang.jpg

Speaking of amazing Chevy’s, the bowtie bunch continued their string of successes in the re-birthed Corvette. The C7 is stunning from any angle, is available in coupe, targa, or convertible tops, and was quickly overshadowed when its steroid-using brother, the new Corvette Z06, was released. Toppling the old C6 ZR1’s horsepower and torque ratings, the new Z06 is finally, truly giving supercars costing 3X, 4X, 5X, etc. a run for their money. God bless America.

the new Chevy Corvette Z06

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And if you’re in the market for a mad dog like the Corvette Z06 or the Camaro Z/28, there’s a good chance you’ll be cross-shopping your local Dodge dealer, where they unabashedly offer two cars that make more American horsepower than any stock sports car, period. The Challenger Hellcat flexes an astounding 707hp; and its fraternal twin, the Charger Hellcat, does the same. Oh yeah, the Charger Hellcat can crest 200mph (not that you’ll ever seen one proving it). And all for around $60K; damn that’s great.

the new Dodge Charger Hellcat

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:2015-Dodge-Charger-SRT-Hellcat-450x337.jpg

BMW has been a busy boy lately. Frankly, all the German luxury marques have been. The most hyped Bimmers have been the new 3 and 4 series, or more specifically, the new M3 and M4. And while my practical self would probably buy a four-door M3 because of its extra doors, the new M4 is a sight to behold. It’s almost as breathtaking as BMW’s wildest car in many many years, the new hybrid i8. Call it an EV, call it a supercar -call it both. Don’t let its modest power figures fool you, it’s a fast car and drives like a million bucks, all for $135K. Too steep? The i8 has a little brother called the i3; another EV that utilizes the same bleeding edge technology like a full carbon fiber body shell (called the life module). I drove one last fall and was deeply impressed.

the new BMW i8

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:BMW-i8.JPG

the new BMW i3

new BMW ihttp://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:BMW_i3_at_Legendy_2014.JPG

Lamborghini finally showed a glimmer of maturity in its brilliantly conceived Huracan (“Ooh-rah-kahn”), a car that replaced Lambo’s best-selling car ever, the Gallardo. Another Italian to be excited about (particularly where your wallet is concerned) is from a brand that has finally reemerged into the US market: Alfa Romeo and its unapologetic 4C sports coupe. Yeah, the name is a little…underwhelming. The car, however, is anything but. The little pop tart is powered by a hard-working, pint-sized 1.7L that somehow manages to manifest 237hp and 258lb-ft of torque. Gear swapping is handled solely by a six-speed dual-clutch auto. It’s a go-kart incarnate with a body that’ll make super models jealous. And after the introductory special edition models are accounted for at $68K each, the new 4C will retail for just under $54K. Not bad.

the new Lamborghini Huracan

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:2014-03-04_Geneva_Motor_Show_1375.JPG

Of course, I’ve been avoiding the cars that have undoubtedly stolen move auto-mag pages than any previously mentioned gems. It used to be that if you wanted to travel at insane speeds and proclaim yourself the true king of the road, you needed sixteen cylinders, four turbos, 1001 horsepower, and a namesake after a storied man called Pierre Veyron. Bugatti launched its seemingly omnipotent hypercar, the Veyron 16.4, in 2005. Every single Veyron statistic is staggeringly impressive. At least they were…

Bugatti Veyron

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Bugatti_Veyron.JPG

Knocking King Veyron off his mighty throne is no easy task, yet three different manufacturers have done just that, and all in the same year. The three couldn’t be more different from each other (save for their one common thread). The most expensive is Ferrari’s newest halo car, the LaFerrari. Stupid name, amazing car. Utterly amazing. With a price tag well north of $1.3 million and a combined output of 950hp (789 of those horses are generated by its 6.3L V12), you’d think there wouldn’t be anything more shocking than that; except that it’s a hybrid. Yup.

the new Ferrari LaFerrari

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And so is the next contestant. The world has been waiting for a worthy heir to the over-achieving McLaren F1, which was launched in 1992 and set a top speed record of 231mph a few years later. Well, McLaren is breaking records again with the all new P1. Its powertrain is a marriage of gasoline and electrons not unlike the LaFerrari’s. Its combined output is slightly less than Ferrari’s hybrid, but the P1 will leap from 0-60mph in 2.5 seconds.

the new McLaren P1

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Azure_Blue_McLaren_P1_on_the_run_(14146998023).jpg

As the last hypercar on the list, the Porsche 918 is the cheapest with the least muscular powertrain of the three. By least expensive I mean only $847K, and by least powerful I mean only 887 combined horsepower. But it’s also the fastest (0-60mph in 2.3 seconds), and in my humble opinion, the best looking. Its exhaust ports point upwards over the rear-placed engine and make for a dazzling display of high-horsepower fireworks.

the new Porsche 918

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Porsche_918_(7501982992).jpg

And so, it’s been somewhat of a banner year. And yet all of these things -these wonderful autos from the aluminum-skinned F-150 to the spankin’ new M4 to the Zeus-like Ferrari LaFerrari- they somehow find themselves floating into the distance as my mind focus on one brand in particular. The real sin is that it’s a brand you wouldn’t normally associate among the things that excite you.

Mercedes-Benz has always played second fiddle to BMW in terms of performance and driver engagement. But perhaps I’m being unfair. M-B is a fabulous luxury marque that needs not explain itself any more than introduce itself. The three-pointed star has always demanded respect among those who seek out the finer things in life, like splendidly appointed automobiles exuding opulence. Sure, BMW can call its haloed 3-Series the king of sport sedans, but M-B can counter with its own crowned monarch, the full-size S-Class sedan, which has set the standard in large luxury for years and years. For 2014 the S-Class is all new; its base biturbo V8 makes a chest-pounding 455hp, and its base price is a wallet-thinning $94K. The fresh S-Class has even sprouted its own two-door sibling (not unlike what the BMW 3-Series has done with the all-new 4-Series coupe), the S-Class coupe, which is a marvel to behold.

In the financially shallow end of Mercedes-Benz's pool is the all-new CLA-Class four-door coupe (think of it as the mini-me CLS-Class). It retails from just about $31K and is exceptionally good-looking. Adding a CUV to M-B's lineup is the new GLA-Class, a funky little car that shares its platform, base powertrain and AMG specs with the CLA. Both make decent power from their 2.0L inline-fours (208hp). But enthusiasts won't care about that; they'll want to know more about the CLA 45 AMG and the GLA 45 AMG, both of which make 355hp from two small litres of displacement. 

the new M-B S-Class Coupe

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mercedes-Benz_Concept_S-Class_Coup%C3%A9_-_Tokyo_Motor_Show_2013.jpg

the Mercedes-Benz AMG SLS

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mercedes-Benz,_SLS_AMG_GT_FINAL_EDITION,_Front_perspective_view,_at_TMS2013.jpg

the new Mercedes-Benz GLA-Class

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mercedes-Benz_GLA_220_CDI_4MATIC_AMG_Line_(X_156)_%E2%80%93_Heckansicht,_26._April_2014,_D%C3%BCsseldorf.jpg

the new Mercedes-Benz CLA 45 AMG 4-Matic

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mercedes-Benz_CLA_45_AMG_4MATIC_-_Tokyo_Motor_Show_2013.jpg

Of course, as interesting as any of these autos are, they pale in ghostly fashion when compared to Mercedes-Benz’s newest predator, the Mercedes-AMG GT S. A mouthful, to be sure; but it’s drop dead gorgeous. It has all the presence of the AMG SLS (you know, the resurrected Gullwing hotrod) and none of its awkward proportions. Lurking under the hood is an all-new AMG-built 4.0L biturbo V8 strutting 503hp (the standard AMG GT produces 456hp) and motivating the rear tires to sprint to 60mph in 3.7 seconds with the help of a seven-speed dual clutch transmission. While most M-B AMG models are entrenched in guerilla warfare with BMW M models and Audi RS models, the AMG GT S leapfrogs its mortal rivals and boldly sets its crosshairs on the real target, the Porsche 911, otherwise known as the world's automotive performance unicorn. True, the AMG GT S is night to the 911’s day, but it’s getting great word of mouth on the streets from fans and auto scribes alike. And how couldn’t it? With killer looks and a very worthy powertrain Porsche may feel a shiver down its back as the AMG GT S will surely siphon sales from Porsche’s rear-engine icon. Which, for these reasons and more, is why the Mercedes-Benz AMG GT S is my favorite car of 2014 (and yes, technically the AMG GT S is a 2016-year model… shoot me).

the new M-B AMG GT S

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http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mercedes-AMG_GT_Edition_1_03_Mondial_de_l%27Automobile_2014-10-14.jpg

Death Match

By Jonathan Mellberg

There is a very serious war raging in the streets. It is a battle for my very soul (or at least my adoration). It has nothing to do with my marriage and nothing to do with the church. This is a much more serious matter. Who is better, Ferrari or Porsche; or more specifically, who is more deserving of my love...

Let’s deal with you naysayers, first. Those who’d exclaim “What about Lamborghini, Mercedes-Benz, Aston Martin, etc?!” (insert other insignificant contestant here). Let’s knock these out right now. Lamborghini may be Ferrari’s biggest rival, but it’s not much of a rivalry. Its racing heritage isn’t as storied, its breadth of product too narrow, and its quality, though worthy of its supercar status, still pales next to Ferrari. It may be the raging bull, but it’s still not as good as the prancing pony.

Next: BMW, Mercedes-Benz, and Audi. All are great autos in their own right, and each knows how to build their own super car (or the closest thing to a car that’s super). But at the end of the day, the same tune sung by nearly every automotive journalist is this: They’re just not as good as the benchmark. And that benchmark for as long as I’ve been reading has been the Porsche 911.

American sports cars: Do I really need to explain? Yes, I’m an automotive ecumenical; I love the Mustang, the Charger, the ‘Vette, the Camaro, the Challenger, the Viper, and any other Detroit-Three heavy hitter. But we’re talking about Ferrari and Porsche here; the kids need to sit at their table.

As for Aston Martin, Jaguar, Maserati, and the like; this discussion involves A-Team players, not junior varsity. Aston Martin can’t build a decent engine anymore, so they’re having M-B do it for them. Jaguar is just finally getting back into the game of true sports cars with the new F-Type, and Maserati (aside from the MC12) only makes cool touring rides, not real sports cars. No offense! I’m sure any car from any of these makers is fine for 8/10’s driving or less. But I’m not here to tackle the merits of pedestrian driving. This discussion is about  > 9/10’s driving and the four-wheeled gods that can accomplish that.

1964 Porsche 911

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:1964_Porsche_911_-_yellow_-_fvl.jpg

We’ll begin by conceding that Ferrari is Zeus and all other runner-ups are demigods at best. But as much as I can appreciate the pinnacle of perfection, I really gravitate toward the underdog. We’ll concede that Porsche is that dog. We’ll also concede that the Porsche 911 is no Ferrari F12, and that the 911 is one of the most funky but enduring designs on the road. Funky, and beautiful; really it’s perfect. Its profile is an example of 50 years of carefully guided evolution. And despite its seemingly questionable decision to place the engine way out over the rear axle, it is (and has been) one of the best handling sports cars in history. That’s not to say it’s easy, because it isn’t (so I read). It’s rear-heavy weight distribution gives the 911 very unique handling traits that some would quickly call “hairy”, which is probably the last descriptor one would use to describe the Ferrari F458 Italia (another car that places the engine behind the driver, but in Ferrari’s case, places the engine amid-ship, between the front and rear axles). In Ferrari’s case, its go-to benchmark car (not to mention its entry-level car) is all new, having only been around a few years. And within a couple more years the F458 will be no more; it will be replaced by another amazing vehicle with its own limited lifespan. That’s how Ferrari rolls; no nameplate is exempt from extinction. And once they’re gone, they’re gone (save for the Testarossa and GTO nameplates). Meanwhile, Porsche has been dutifully crafting 911s for the last half century.

Porsche 959

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Porsche_959#mediaviewer/File:Porsche_959_%E2%80%93_Frontansicht_(2),_21._M%C3%A4rz_2013,_D%C3%BCsseldorf.jpg

And speaking of crafting, allow me to present a more elaborate critique of design differences between Ferrari and Porsche. Whereas Ferrari is equal parts flowing lines, crisp surfaces, and general sexiness, Porsche is more commonly bubble-butted, frog-faced, and anthropomorphic than the stable breeds from Italy. If you took my last sentence as an attack on Porsche, please don’t. Sure, Ferrari is sexy. It’s like declaring the Sun is hot. It’s not a revelation; it’s a fact. What you don’t generally expect from Porsche is the same magnetic attraction to a brand whose outlines are bulbous and whose face seems ready to “ribbit”. And then you discover what’s under the hood and how it all works together so gloriously and then you fall head over heels, as I did.

Ferrari F458 Speciale

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ferrari_458_Speciale_-.jpg

For starters, how does Porsche squeeze so much power and speed from its flat-six motors? Add turbos to them and you’ve really got a problem with velocity enforcement. In helping put all that power to good use, Porsche developed all-wheel drive well over 25 years ago; it debuted on the mind-boggling Porsche 959, the precursor to the modern-day super car. This served as the basis for subsequent Porsches equipped with AWD, notably the Carrera 4s and future 911 Turbo models. And the world has been a better place for it. Ferrari wasn’t far behind with its 408 prototype in 1988, but its AWD system was abandoned along with the car. That is, until the 2012 Ferrari FF.  Why Ferrari waited as long as they did to introduce AWD to any of their cars is curious, but only if you don’t understand Ferrari; or at the very least, pretend to understand them, as I do.

Ferrari V12 engine (from the 599 model)

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It is the same reason that Ferrari doesn’t offer (and won’t according to Ferrari brass) an SUV. It’s the same reason that until now Ferrari hasn’t explored hybrid technology. It’s the same reason that only a very small handful of Ferrari’s have featured forced induction (turbocharging). Ferrari isn’t here to cater to trend and obsession. Ferrari isn’t interested in producing more cars only to make more money (of course, I may have spoken too soon: read up on Luca De Montezemolo's radical departure from Ferrari). And Ferrari isn’t interested in doing what the other guys are doing. Ferrari is only interested in building Ferraris. What exactly does that entail? It means creating very special, very limited-production cars with breathtaking designs, howling V8s or screaming V12s, and performance that slaps the face of its competition and asks “E che tutto quello che hai?!” (Italian for “Is that all you got?!”).

Now can you see my dilemma? Which automotive titan more deserves my praise and affection? Can I really continue to root for both winning teams? Sooner or later I’ll have to pick a side and proudly fly their colors. But I think I know where I stand. In the end, the Porsche brand represents a more realistic goal of possible ownership. That, combined with their AWD obsession and a history of comfortable interiors paired to insanely fast powertrains makes me really think I could fall for Porsche. But the reality is this: I love Ferrari. I love that they’re snobby enough to build one less car than demand calls for. I love that they still believe an unassisted V12 engine at full song is still the pinnacle of auditory effervescence. I love the fact they refuse to buckle under trend and demand and build themselves the first Soccer-mom Ferrari SUV (though it would be pretty frickin’ sweet if they did). I love (and hate) that Ferrari autos are so far out of reach I’d be better off trying to steal one than work hard and save my entire life just to buy one. And I love that I drove a Porsche Boxter S and thought it was the greatest thing ever, until I drove a Ferrari F430.

-Thank you for reading The Wheelspin Journal-

photo by the author

Fritterin' circa 2014

by Jonathan Mellberg

In writing an automotive blog I make the general assumption that the majority of my readers may in fact be male, which makes my next question a little risky, especially for guys of my generation or younger. Have you ever seen The Music Man? It’s a musical (duh), set in the early 1900’s. A trickster traveling salesman named Harold Hill descends upon an innocent -and hopelessly naïve- Iowan town to convince them of a need for boys band. To be clear, this is when a boys band meant uniforms and brass instruments, not former Mouseketeers who all step together with their shirts off and simultaneously serenade millions of women.

In The Music Man, “Professor” Harold Hill whips the town into a frenzy by convincing them that a newly delivered billiards table will be all the young boys' tool of corruption. “Your young men will be fritterin’; fritterin’ I say!” (As in fritterin’ away their time shootin’ pool) exclaims Professor Hill, setting up his pitch to sell the town on the creation of a boy’s band. Obviously this is decades before the birth of the muscle car. For if it had been, the quiet municipality of Rivercity, Iowa would've had a lot more to worry about than a new pool table…

1967 Camaro Z/28

No, I wasn’t around in the sixties; I wasn’t even a thought. In fact, my mother was born the same year that saw the birth of the original pony car, the Ford Mustang. With its instant, phenomenal success, rivals at Chevy knew they had to think of something quick. By 1967 the boys with the bow ties launched their rebuttal, the instantly iconic Chevy Camaro. The war had begun; there’s never been a cease-fire.

Not that it would have mattered, had I been alive back then. Muscle cars may have been prevalent, but it took (for many Americans) well-padded wallets to afford these road-going monsters, and owning a Chevy Camaro was no exception. A fully armed Camaro SS 396 cost roughly $3700 in 1967; sounds paltry but when factoring in inflation that number swells to $26,348. And its junior varsity playmate, the 1967 Camaro Z/28 cost $3500, or $24,964 today.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Chevrolet_Camaro_Z_28_(02).jpg

Anyone who’s familiar with Chevy knows the SS moniker (for Super Sport, in case you ever wondered). But there’s another descriptor that's been used since the days of 60’s muscle; the “Z”. A bit more cryptic, the Z is. There’s the Z/28 (Chevy Camaro), the Z/24 (Chevy Cavalier), the Z/34 (Chevy Lumina/Monte Carlo), and let’s not forget the Z/26 (Chevy Beretta). Obviously, the Z performance denotation has never been as fully expressed or meaningful as in the Camaro, but Z packages haven’t always been exclusive to just Chevy passenger cars, either. There’s been the Z-85 and Z-71 pickup/SUV options, too. And let’s not forget the Z-51 package for Chevy’s halo car, the Corvette. Yeah, it’s a lot to keep track of. For today we’ll focus soley on the Camaro Z/28 (and no, for the record I don't know if there is supposed to be a dash ("-") or a forward paranthesee ("/") when correctly labeling Z models).

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:1967_Chevrolet_Camaro_Convertible.jpg

As the Camaro was a direct response to the Mustang, so were its trim levels. While the Camaro SS was meant to battle the Mustang GT, Chevy also decided to tackle Ford on the Trans Am racing circuit with its own iteration: The Camaro Z/28. Initially a dealer-installed set of options, the Z/28 was slightly cheaper than the SS in 1967. Trans Am rules meant its engine capacity was limited to 305 cubic inches or less, with a production cap of 1000 units or less (just over 600 Z's rolled out of the factory in 1967). While the Camaro SS featured a 396 cubic-inch V8 that produced 325hp and 410lb-ft of torque, the Z/28’s 302 V8 displayed more modest figures of 290hp and 290lb-ft of torque. While the SS was capable of more factory power, some say the Z/28’s advertised measurements were laughable; dyno testing had the Z/28 displaying close to 400 horsepower. 

But it was never meant to last. We all know the story; by 1971 the sun was setting on planet muscle car. Engines that big and that powerful would take decades to reappear. The Z/28 badge hung around while the SS label disappeared until 1996, when both the Camaro SS and Camaro Z/28 sold side by side for the first time since the sixties. A ’96 SS Camaro retailed for $24,500 ($37,140 today) and the Z/28 sold for $19,390 ($29,394 today), continuing the tradition of the SS as the more expensive model.

And then the Camaro went away. Perhaps it was for the best. After all, there have been a few years of the Mustang’s continual lifespan I wouldn’t mind seeing scrubbed from existence. Of course, Chevy made a comeback-kid appearance with the all-new Camaro in 2010, eight years since the last Camaro had been built. Since its rebirth we’ve seen V6 and V8-powered Camaros. There’s still an SS option, as well thunder-striking ZL1 edition (another throwback moniker from the 60's). And just recently, after years of waiting, we finally have our Z/28 back. But it’s nothing like the original…

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Camaro_Z-28.jpg

Let me elaborate a bit. Sure, a 2014 Camaro SS starts at $34,500, waaaaay more than 1967’s SS model retailed for with at an inflation-adjusted $26,348. But here’s the thing: Today’s base, V6 Camaro starts at $23,705. And while you can’t say that it has a V8, or SS badges, you can smile contently when your “base” 2014 Camaro smokes the old 1967 Camaro SS in terms of performance. You certainly don’t need big, strong V8’s in today’s sports cars to seek the kinds of thrills that 60’s muscle produced. Sure, it’s all a bit more polished, controlled, and mitigated today. But the cheapest sports cars of 2014 are just as fast as the most brutal baddies from the muscle years, with few exceptions.

However, let's say you do want the upgrade. A high-performance 2014 V6 engine just isn’t enough. I understand; in fact I encourage it. The aforementioned Camaro SS begins breaking the bank at $34,500, which means the modern-day Z-28 model should price at around the same figures, right? Wrong! Holy cow, I’ve never seen such a price disparity in all the Camaro’s near-forty years. $55,505 sounds kinda spendy, right? Yeah, me too. But that isn’t the price for a new Z/28. For this money you get the new Camaro ZL-1; it’s the most powerful Camaro ever, but not the most expensive.

The all-new Camaro Z/28 will set you back………$72,305! (Insert mother-scolding expletive here) That’s well over double what a new Camaro SS sets you back. What the hell?! Never mind that $72,305 equates to $10,153 in 1967 dollars, never mind that a brand new 2014 Corvette starts at nearly $20K cheaper ($54,000), and never mind that the original Z/28 was to be a toned-down-yet-still-powerful alternative to its SS brother. Pshaw, I say. You can’t just resurrect a name like Z/28 and slap it on the sides of this ballistic missile with four wheels and two doors! Who do you think you are, Chevy?!

https://www.bing.com/images/search?sid=6137A2B203374FCABCC3DF9AD176FFEE&jsoncbid=0&q=camaro+z-28&qft=+filterui:license-L2_L3&FORM=R5IR41#view=detail&id=FDCB27604DF025C1216F678ED790ABA84A652CA4&selectedIndex=0

Please don’t mistake my outrage as anti-enthusiasm. I’m thrilled that Chevy exhumed the Z/28 nameplate, I’m just not sure where they get off selling a $71K factory Camaro. Its attributes are certainly attractive: 505hp from a big ol’ 7.0Litre pushrod V8, 481lb-ft of torque, a 300-lb weight reduction over the similarly deranged Camaro ZL-1. But I can’t decide if today’s Camaro Z/28 is the spiritual successor of the original 1967 model. Both are track-focused; race-car first and street-car second.

And by now you’re probably searching for a point to all this. So am I. In the early 1900’s, small communities were in an uproar over pool tables. By 1967, the Camaro’s introduction surely kept parents up all night praying for the young-ins and their “muscle” cars. But look at what we have today. The 1967 Camaro Z/28 might have been fast and exciting then, but in 2014 the Z/28 is downright scary! Luckily, for today’s parents,  it’ll take a significant windfall or years of very diligent saving for their kids to afford one. Hopefully that’ll make ma and pa fritter less…

-Thanks for reading The Wheelspin Journal-

photo by the author

The anti-summer

by Jonathan Mellberg

Despite my fervent hatred of how snow cripples my -and everyone else’s- commute, I’ll proudly admit that Christmas is my favorite time of the year. Don’t get me wrong, I love summer; and while the fourth of July seems like the favorable alternative, there is something about the Christmas season that generates a feeling of warmth. For the record, it’s not the plunging temperatures and the layered blankets of falling, frozen water.

This year, Christmas holds even more significance. It’ll be Tate and I’s first holiday in our new house, but more importantly, our first Christmas with our new daughter. By December 24^th, little Jane will still have that new car smell (aka yummy baby scent), and I can’t wait to show her this snow.

Today, November 10, 2014, was a bit rough. As this season’s introductory snowfall, Mother Nature not only graced us with her presence, she took a big ol’ dump of crystalline h2o all over the Minneapolis metro area (and the rest of the state, though as they are outside my normal commuting radius, Minnesota's remaining 85,367 square miles don't really matter). Our little town of Dayton was no less unscathed. My wife, the ever-industrious, home-making helper she is, shoveled twice before I even got home, whereupon I shoveled a third time. This came after a nine hour shift at work which began with me leaving home at 4:45 AM. And the fun didn’t end there; my part-time job meant striking out again in the evening, twenty miles west to Monticello. Helluva day to be on the roads.

https://www.bing.com/images/search?pq=snow&sc=8-4&sp=-1&sk=&q=snow&qft=+filterui:license-L1&FORM=R5IR38#view=detail&id=B4ECB73522216C4C5F074D23CA3D8A9F6A154B95&selectedIndex=171

The commute could be better, though. I’m not intimidated by weather. Aside from a tornado marching toward my direction, Mother Nature doesn’t scare me, least of all snow. It’s everyone else that gives me the willies, all those bumbling buffoons out there who annually showcase their poor skills and judgment, commencing their vehicular ham-handedness at the first sign of flurried snowflakes. Permit me, if you will, to rail against thine blight, if only for a bit.

https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=snow%20falling&qs=n&form=QBIR&pq=snow%20falling&sc=8-12&sp=-1&sk=#view=detail&id=73330C9F0AC98B8E7C427FFF6F60F3BBEEF6E8FD&selectedIndex=3

Beef #1: Memory wipe

Yes, we’re all rookie drivers in this year’s first snowfall. Yet somehow -as if we were all Dell laptops- Minnesota drivers seem to wipe their memory of all past Snowbelt experience. We’ve all heard that water cooler chatter that goes something like “first snow of the year and everyone forgets how to drive”. So sad, and so true.

https://www.bing.com/images/search?pq=snow+fall&sc=8-9&sp=-1&sk=&sid=817C68C09A9944488312817B7715CA4F&jsoncbid=8&q=snow+fall&qft=+filterui:license-L1&FORM=R5IR38#view=detail&id=5A2081D428B865D7511F8CC84E18DB236A28F6DF&selectedIndex=58

Beef #2: Amplifier drivers

Inclement weather always seems to bring out the widest spectrum of peculiar driving, and powder-coated highways and byways are no exception. Slow drivers are even slower; mostly grammas and grandpas and other oblivious Sunday drivers. You’ll find these peoples' caution dramatically dialed up. While everyone is marching along those shitty, snowy commutes at 30mph, these folks are strolling along at around 15-20mph. It’s no crime, granted. But there is something to be said for effectively and efficiently trudging through crappy weather, especially when you’re one of thousands sharing the road. But these types don’t upset me nearly as much as their polar opposites. You’d be as quick to recognize them as me, the types who rocket past you at ludicrous speeds. Most commonly found to be driving trucks, often with big tires, loud exhaust, raised suspension, and painfully obvious Napoleon complexes, these chaps are even less intelligent. Ice is still ice, even in a big truck; and no one is immune to its effects. If you’re really lucky, you’ll sometimes catch these fools buried in the ditch two miles down the road, and you can smile and wave as you pass them, driving at saner speeds.

https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=cars%20in%20snow&qs=n&form=QBIR&pq=cars%20in%20snow&sc=8-11&sp=-1&sk=#view=detail&id=9A1FDC1B61FF9E2D0D98361DDC81C2B2872B44D7&selectedIndex=17

Beef #3: 1,000,000,000 candlelight headlamps

Curiously enough, America has the most restrictive tolerances concerning how bright headlights are allowed to be; both Europe and Japan allow for much brighter levels. Frankly, sometimes it still seems too bright. I have to pick on trucks again for this one. You’ve seen these big rigs (no, not semi tractors) who not only have bright headlights, but impossibly bright fog lights as well. It’s like a wall of light hurling toward you (a close encounter of the annoying kind). What’s worse are those who retrofit their cars and trucks with aftermarket xenon bulbs that are even brighter. If god wanted us to see two miles ahead of ourselves he’d have made us all eagles instead.

Piggy-backing off of bright headlights is another obvious courtesy violation. Driving with your high beams on. Arrgg! I don’t get it! Every car currently on the road (OK, 99.99% of every car currently on the road) features an easy-to-find blue indicator light smack dab in the middle of the gauge cluster, letting a fellow know at all times when his high beams are on. Maybe future cars will be built with a looping message that says “Hey jerk-face, your high beams are on…”

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Sneeuw1.jpg

Beef #4: Where are you going?

I’m not through with lights yet. Let me reveal perhaps my biggest pet peeve. Not because it’s so important (although it is), but because it’s so darn easy and yet soooo many people don’t do it. On every corner of every car, truck, van, and SUV (not to mention semis, army Humvee's, and Fed-Ex trucks) there is an indicator light; normally amber in the front, and either amber or red in the rear. These indicators exist for the sole purpose or non-verbal car-to-car communication. Instead of having to scream out my window “I’m turning right now!” I can simply flick my steering column stalk to the right, and presto! Both passenger side indicators (front and rear) blink in unison, until the turn is completed or until I manually disengage the blinker function. Radical, I know. Yet each day, I could count dozens, maybe even hundreds of fellow drivers who ignore this extremely user-friendly safety function as they weave in and out of lanes, enter and exit freeways, highways and byways, and generally disregard those who share the roads with them. And in bad weather, letting each other know what we are doing (ahead of time) is all the more important.

None of these bad driver character traits are exclusive to winter. Certainly, I observe horrid driving habits year round. They just seem to come out of the woodwork a bit more when snowflakes begin flying. So please, be safe out there. Don’t go too fast, don’t go too slow, remember that your high beams actually have an “off” switch, use your damn blinkers, and remind yourself that this isn’t your first Minnesota winter. Unless of course it is; in which case, watch out for that corner just up the way, it’s a little icy. Which corner, you ask? Every corner. 

-thanks for reading The Wheelspin Journal-

photo by the author

Ozone-degraded nostalgia

Sunday, October 12, 8:33 AM

My back is sore as hell; I walked like a little old lady to the bathroom this morning. I knew this would happen and yet I don’t mind. It comes with the territory. It’s not because I’m getting older (though it's surely a factor). It’s because I spent the better part of yesterday at the Holm farm in Big Lake, MN, where my in-laws live.

Saturday, October 11, 7:52 AM

We pull into the dirt driveway; the sun is up and at ‘em, effectively blinding eastbound traffic on county road 4. I’m sipping my Holiday-brand French vanilla cappuccino; it’s the first warm coffee-like drink I’ve bought all year, and at under $1.50, it’s a bargain. I’ve got all the gear I need; old gloves, a hat, a scarf, and layers of clothing. I haven’t done this in a while, and by this I mean hard, manual labor in 27-degree weather. Yep, I’m kind of a weenie; I may hold three different jobs, but all of them are inside and involve and desk and a chair. I don’t get to roll up my sleeves all that often and do real man’s work. But today I’m helping my father-in-law Doug (along with the help of my brother-in-law Wes) tackle the arduous task of chopping up a shitload of tree logs. After all, winter is coming.

my father-in-law Doug Holm

I brought my wife, Tate, with too. She’ll stay inside and keep her mother, Val, company. At this point she is still very much pregnant, and I discourage any manual labor she attempts, including whining (just kidding, honey). Me and the guys mosey outside and head out back behind the barn. The structure blocks the sun for the better part of the morning. What at first feels too cold eventually becomes optimal working weather; you don’t sweat too much, and the legions of mosquitoes have already fallen victim to Mother Nature’s changing of the guard.

To help us with our work is a heavy duty pickup truck with a dumper box in place of the regular, stationary bed. We’ve also got a diesel-powered Bobcat to aid in our efforts. There are two chainsaws, but one isn’t functioning, and it’s the new one (go figure). The heart of the operation is definitely the trusty, gas-powered, hydraulic-utilizing log splitter. It’s old; if it were a person it’d be old enough to earn a driver’s license. And it’s already had one heart transplant (the engine was replaced a few years back). But it still works; it works damn well, in fact.

Doug's trust ol' one-ton pickup

All around us are piles of wood; big piles. There’s still lots of work to do. Big fat trunks need to be sliced up with the chain saw then moved over to the splitter to be incrementally chopped up so as to fit into the wood stove that helps heat the Holm residence. It’s tedious, not to mention tough. Some of these chunks are quite heavy; some even require two men to move. But the single-minded nature of the work brings a certain pleasure to the experience; you know what you have to do and you know how much there is to do. As the hours pass and the fruits of our labor become more evident, continuing not only seems logical but preferable. Why stop now when we can get more done!

The log splitter rarely meets a tree limb it can’t muscle through; the put-put-put of its small engine providing the backing soundtrack to our work, kinda like the rhythm guitar. The lead guitar then would definitely be the chainsaw. Much louder, it draws attention as it eats through the trees, spitting sawdust every which way. Its exhaust is seemingly more prevalent as well. And when I catch a whiff it floods me with that small-engine nostalgia that could only come from the kind of pollution generated by internal combustion engines. It makes me think of the snowmobile we had growing up. Funny how the smell of deadly exhaust fumes can be so intoxicating. OK, intoxicating may be a bit too romantic a word for this subject. Let’s go with alluring. Satisfied?

my work buddy, the log splitter

Between Doug, Wes, and me, I think we made a pretty good team. And before we knew it, it was lunch time. Hooray! After debating on whether or not to invade the pizza that Tate had picked up from the local Pizza Pub, we decided to take our fiendish hunger elsewhere. The three of us hopped into Doug’s bright red Silverado pickup and headed into nearby Zimmerman to dine at Papa’s Italian. I love Doug’s new truck; it’s big and cushy, and comfortable even in the back seat. And when it starts the 5.3Litre V8 kicks out a guttural grumble thanks to aftermarket dual exhaust. It’s enough to remind you of its power, but never gets annoying, like the pipes on those trucks with bumper stickers that read “loud pipes save lives”. Codswallop; loud pipes only tick people off, even motor heads like me. Chest-pounding males have struggled with their own various inadequacies for centuries, millennia, even. And the automobile has often served as their manifested Napoleon complex. But that’s another blog…a long blog.

Doug's 2010 Chevy Silverado

At Papa’s Italian, Wes and I order calzones, and Doug orders lasagna. And damnit if they didn't have the best tasting fountain Mello Yellow I’ve had in a long time. That alone was worth the trip. We talk about this and that, and frequently about the automobile. On the ride back to the house we see a 1967 Chevy Impala.

Doug's toys: '49 Chevy Pickup, '79 One-ton, 2010 Silverado

Despite each of us stuffing ourselves at lunch, our work ethic appears intact. Besides, there’s only about another hour of work left for the day. The last sixty minutes comes and goes quickly, and by the time we’re finished we’ve chopped a mountain of split wood; we even split enough wood to get casa de Holm through an entire winter.

roughly half of our finished wood pile

But as the work stops, the tire of our toil sets in. I ask Tate to drive, but she doesn’t want to. It’s OK; I’ve got just enough juice in me to get us home without dozing off. I’m fully prepared to pass out in bed for the next two hours as we walk through our doorway, but Tate politely asks me to rid myself of the working man’s perfume: A petrol-burning mix of diesel and gas-fueled exhaust. A shower is in order.

The future may consist of the images we see in the movies, where cars silently roll around, powered by batteries instead of internal-combustion engines. Where the gardeners use lasers to whip weeds and Bobcats are replaced by hover-dollies. Whatever our bright future holds for us, if it’s without gasoline and the various engines it powers, it just won’t be the same. Maybe that makes me a dinosaur, or maybe you’ve never taken a whiff of snowmobile exhaust; and if so, that’s your loss.