Fritterin' circa 2014

by Jonathan Mellberg

In writing an automotive blog I make the general assumption that the majority of my readers may in fact be male, which makes my next question a little risky, especially for guys of my generation or younger. Have you ever seen The Music Man? It’s a musical (duh), set in the early 1900’s. A trickster traveling salesman named Harold Hill descends upon an innocent -and hopelessly naïve- Iowan town to convince them of a need for boys band. To be clear, this is when a boys band meant uniforms and brass instruments, not former Mouseketeers who all step together with their shirts off and simultaneously serenade millions of women.

In The Music Man, “Professor” Harold Hill whips the town into a frenzy by convincing them that a newly delivered billiards table will be all the young boys' tool of corruption. “Your young men will be fritterin’; fritterin’ I say!” (As in fritterin’ away their time shootin’ pool) exclaims Professor Hill, setting up his pitch to sell the town on the creation of a boy’s band. Obviously this is decades before the birth of the muscle car. For if it had been, the quiet municipality of Rivercity, Iowa would've had a lot more to worry about than a new pool table…

1967 Camaro Z/28

No, I wasn’t around in the sixties; I wasn’t even a thought. In fact, my mother was born the same year that saw the birth of the original pony car, the Ford Mustang. With its instant, phenomenal success, rivals at Chevy knew they had to think of something quick. By 1967 the boys with the bow ties launched their rebuttal, the instantly iconic Chevy Camaro. The war had begun; there’s never been a cease-fire.

Not that it would have mattered, had I been alive back then. Muscle cars may have been prevalent, but it took (for many Americans) well-padded wallets to afford these road-going monsters, and owning a Chevy Camaro was no exception. A fully armed Camaro SS 396 cost roughly $3700 in 1967; sounds paltry but when factoring in inflation that number swells to $26,348. And its junior varsity playmate, the 1967 Camaro Z/28 cost $3500, or $24,964 today.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Chevrolet_Camaro_Z_28_(02).jpg

Anyone who’s familiar with Chevy knows the SS moniker (for Super Sport, in case you ever wondered). But there’s another descriptor that's been used since the days of 60’s muscle; the “Z”. A bit more cryptic, the Z is. There’s the Z/28 (Chevy Camaro), the Z/24 (Chevy Cavalier), the Z/34 (Chevy Lumina/Monte Carlo), and let’s not forget the Z/26 (Chevy Beretta). Obviously, the Z performance denotation has never been as fully expressed or meaningful as in the Camaro, but Z packages haven’t always been exclusive to just Chevy passenger cars, either. There’s been the Z-85 and Z-71 pickup/SUV options, too. And let’s not forget the Z-51 package for Chevy’s halo car, the Corvette. Yeah, it’s a lot to keep track of. For today we’ll focus soley on the Camaro Z/28 (and no, for the record I don't know if there is supposed to be a dash ("-") or a forward paranthesee ("/") when correctly labeling Z models).

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:1967_Chevrolet_Camaro_Convertible.jpg

As the Camaro was a direct response to the Mustang, so were its trim levels. While the Camaro SS was meant to battle the Mustang GT, Chevy also decided to tackle Ford on the Trans Am racing circuit with its own iteration: The Camaro Z/28. Initially a dealer-installed set of options, the Z/28 was slightly cheaper than the SS in 1967. Trans Am rules meant its engine capacity was limited to 305 cubic inches or less, with a production cap of 1000 units or less (just over 600 Z's rolled out of the factory in 1967). While the Camaro SS featured a 396 cubic-inch V8 that produced 325hp and 410lb-ft of torque, the Z/28’s 302 V8 displayed more modest figures of 290hp and 290lb-ft of torque. While the SS was capable of more factory power, some say the Z/28’s advertised measurements were laughable; dyno testing had the Z/28 displaying close to 400 horsepower. 

But it was never meant to last. We all know the story; by 1971 the sun was setting on planet muscle car. Engines that big and that powerful would take decades to reappear. The Z/28 badge hung around while the SS label disappeared until 1996, when both the Camaro SS and Camaro Z/28 sold side by side for the first time since the sixties. A ’96 SS Camaro retailed for $24,500 ($37,140 today) and the Z/28 sold for $19,390 ($29,394 today), continuing the tradition of the SS as the more expensive model.

And then the Camaro went away. Perhaps it was for the best. After all, there have been a few years of the Mustang’s continual lifespan I wouldn’t mind seeing scrubbed from existence. Of course, Chevy made a comeback-kid appearance with the all-new Camaro in 2010, eight years since the last Camaro had been built. Since its rebirth we’ve seen V6 and V8-powered Camaros. There’s still an SS option, as well thunder-striking ZL1 edition (another throwback moniker from the 60's). And just recently, after years of waiting, we finally have our Z/28 back. But it’s nothing like the original…

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Camaro_Z-28.jpg

Let me elaborate a bit. Sure, a 2014 Camaro SS starts at $34,500, waaaaay more than 1967’s SS model retailed for with at an inflation-adjusted $26,348. But here’s the thing: Today’s base, V6 Camaro starts at $23,705. And while you can’t say that it has a V8, or SS badges, you can smile contently when your “base” 2014 Camaro smokes the old 1967 Camaro SS in terms of performance. You certainly don’t need big, strong V8’s in today’s sports cars to seek the kinds of thrills that 60’s muscle produced. Sure, it’s all a bit more polished, controlled, and mitigated today. But the cheapest sports cars of 2014 are just as fast as the most brutal baddies from the muscle years, with few exceptions.

However, let's say you do want the upgrade. A high-performance 2014 V6 engine just isn’t enough. I understand; in fact I encourage it. The aforementioned Camaro SS begins breaking the bank at $34,500, which means the modern-day Z-28 model should price at around the same figures, right? Wrong! Holy cow, I’ve never seen such a price disparity in all the Camaro’s near-forty years. $55,505 sounds kinda spendy, right? Yeah, me too. But that isn’t the price for a new Z/28. For this money you get the new Camaro ZL-1; it’s the most powerful Camaro ever, but not the most expensive.

The all-new Camaro Z/28 will set you back………$72,305! (Insert mother-scolding expletive here) That’s well over double what a new Camaro SS sets you back. What the hell?! Never mind that $72,305 equates to $10,153 in 1967 dollars, never mind that a brand new 2014 Corvette starts at nearly $20K cheaper ($54,000), and never mind that the original Z/28 was to be a toned-down-yet-still-powerful alternative to its SS brother. Pshaw, I say. You can’t just resurrect a name like Z/28 and slap it on the sides of this ballistic missile with four wheels and two doors! Who do you think you are, Chevy?!

https://www.bing.com/images/search?sid=6137A2B203374FCABCC3DF9AD176FFEE&jsoncbid=0&q=camaro+z-28&qft=+filterui:license-L2_L3&FORM=R5IR41#view=detail&id=FDCB27604DF025C1216F678ED790ABA84A652CA4&selectedIndex=0

Please don’t mistake my outrage as anti-enthusiasm. I’m thrilled that Chevy exhumed the Z/28 nameplate, I’m just not sure where they get off selling a $71K factory Camaro. Its attributes are certainly attractive: 505hp from a big ol’ 7.0Litre pushrod V8, 481lb-ft of torque, a 300-lb weight reduction over the similarly deranged Camaro ZL-1. But I can’t decide if today’s Camaro Z/28 is the spiritual successor of the original 1967 model. Both are track-focused; race-car first and street-car second.

And by now you’re probably searching for a point to all this. So am I. In the early 1900’s, small communities were in an uproar over pool tables. By 1967, the Camaro’s introduction surely kept parents up all night praying for the young-ins and their “muscle” cars. But look at what we have today. The 1967 Camaro Z/28 might have been fast and exciting then, but in 2014 the Z/28 is downright scary! Luckily, for today’s parents,  it’ll take a significant windfall or years of very diligent saving for their kids to afford one. Hopefully that’ll make ma and pa fritter less…

-Thanks for reading The Wheelspin Journal-

photo by the author